End Of The Bloody Road
by Alexandrea Darkin
Summary: Prompt: Alternate discovery of Spike's malfunctioning chip set during Season 7. Buffy finds a weak Spike on the losing end of a battle with a demon. Spike tries to brush off her questions and concerns but when the pain becomes to much for him to bear in silence Buffy is thrown into a world where she faces the possibility of a life without Spike in it. Only own my twisted ideas!


End of The Bloody Road

~Buffy The Vampire Slayer~

* Prompt: Alternate discovery of Spike's malfunctioning chip. *

"Sod off!" Spike growled as he stormed away from her. "I already told you I was bloody well fine."

"Yeah, well, you were almost a bloody mess on the ground out there." Buffy argued as she stomped into the crypt after him. "That demon tossed you around like a rag doll. You should have been able to take it out with your eyes closed."

"So I'm havin' an off night." Spike huffed as he ran his hand through his hair and glared at her.

"You're weak, Spike." He would have taken offense with her choice of words if it hadn't been for the concern he heard in them. The fact that it was the truth didn't hurt either. "When's the last time you fed?"

"Why the sudden interest in my dinner habits, Slayer." Spike huffed as he grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the corner shelf. Slayer? He hadn't called her that in so long it sounded wrong. The look on his face told her he was just as shocked at his slip of the tongue as she was. "Patrol's done. Time for you to tottle off and chomp on cookie dough or whatever the bloody hell you and the rest of the Scoobies do on a Saturday night."

"Okay," Buffy sighed as she rested her hands on her hips. "You wanna tell me what's up with you?"

"No." Spike snapped as he twisted the top off the bottle in his hands and flung it across the room.

"Fine." Buffy hugged as she rolled her eyes at him. She was even more worried about Spike now than she was when she found him in the clutches of that demon.

"Fine." Spike growled as he took a deep drink from the bottle and turned away swaying on his feet as he tried to walk away from her.

"I thought we were past all of this." He heard her sigh as he put a hand on the sarcophagus to right himself. "I thought you trusted me, Spike."

He pinched the bridge of his nose as he turned to face her again. "I do trust you, luv." Spike sighed in defeat as she sat the bottle on the counter. "Probably the only person in the world I could honestly say that to."

"Then talk to me, Spike." He hated the way she worried about everyone, but in the same breath he loved her for it.

"You're not gonna let this bleedin' thing go are you?" Spike sighed as she stared at him. "Didn't think so." He mumbled as he pressed his hand hard against his head squeezing his eyes shut. "No…not now…not...Bollocks!" Buffy jumped as Spike screamed cradling his head and stumbled into the sarcophagus. Screaming again he sunk to his knees on the crypt floor and she couldn't stop the fear that raced through her.

"Spike!" Buffy called out as she ran to him. He cursed himself for the fear he heard in her voice as she kneeled beside him, her hands pulling at his wrists. "Oh my God, Spike. What's going on?"

"Stay away." He groaned as he stared up at her through bloodshot eyes. She held his blood covered hands tight in hers as he tried to pull away from her. "Dangerous…"

"You're scaring me, Spike?" Buffy said as she touched his face making him meet her eyes. "What's hurting you? What…what's doing this?" Blood was dripping from his nose and eyes as he opened his mouth but pain gripped him again and he screamed slamming his head into the sarcophagus. One scream led into another until there was no sound left to come out of him. His body was shaking as he spit blood onto the crypt floor. "Spike…I can't help you if you don't tell me how."

"It's this soddin' chip." Buffy could barely hear his voice and he wouldn't look at her as he sat against the sarcophagus his head in his hands. Carefully, she slid her hand behind his head and rubbed her fingers over the spot where the Initiative had implanted the behavior modification chip in his skull. Spike sighed and seemed to relax a little as her fingers massaged his head, the burning fading as her fingers danced along his skin. "Been firing at will for no bloody good reason past few days. Started out wasn't so bad, right. Then started gettin' worse. Knocked me bloody well out on patrol the other night. I just happened to wake up before the sun made me all crispy on the sidewalk." Finally, he met her eyes and she saw fear swimming around in the blue depths. "I..I haven't done anything, Buffy. I swear it."

"I know you haven't, Spike." She whispered as she sighed. "I believe you. Tell me how to fix this and I'll do it."

"Wish I knew." Spike mumbled as he closed his eyes enjoying the feel of her fingers in his hair. Had he been in his right mind…oh who was he kidding. If he had been in his right mind they would never have been doing this. "Soldier boys didn't exactly give us repair lessons when they shoved those soddin chips up our brains. Don't rightly think they expected us to outlive the chip in the first place. Looks like they were right."

"Don't talk like that." Buffy snapped as she stared at him. The bleeding had slowed but he still flinched as he tried to move. "Stay still. Get your strength back before you go storming off again."

"'m fine." Spike slurred as he tried to stand, losing his balance and pitching sideways as he grabbed his head again. Buffy's arm snaked around his waist and she held him until he was able to get his feet settled under him. "Buffy…."

"I got you." She whispered as she fought the panic racing through her. She had to get him help but she had no idea where to turn. The initiative had left Sunnydale in their rearview mirror months ago and she had no idea how to get back to the laboratory they had created. "I'm not leaving you like this."

"You should." He mumbled as he fought to keep his eyes open. "Not safe anymore, Buffy. Don't wanna…"

"You're only a danger to yourself like this, Spike." She sighed as she tried to coax him into moving toward the door. If she could just get him outside and in her car she could take him home and call Giles. "You won't hurt anyone else. I believe in you remember?"

"Can't forget it, Pet." He mumbled as he tripped over his own feet sending them stumbling toward the door.

His eyes snapped open as another wave of burning pain shot through his brain. His screams echoed around him each one louder and more painful than the last. "Oh God." He groaned as he squeezed his head between his hands praying for anything that would make the pain stop as the dizzy feeling spun him in darkness. "I haven't….Bloody Hell…Why….why isn't it stopping….no…no…" Finally, the pain faded after what seemed like eternity leaving him confused, dizzy and in a desperate need to vomit.

"Spike," He gagged at the taste of his own blood in his mouth as she pulled his hands away from his face. There was blood on them again and she was crying as she crouched in the doorway of her car staring up at him. "Try to calm down. Don't let the pain get the better of you. Fight it, Spike."

"To strong…" he mumbled weakly as he felt her grip on his hands tighten. "Bugger this! Just stake me, Pet. Has to be better than letting that soddin' chip fry me up like Sunday dinner."

"Stop!" A new wave of tears fell from her eyes as she stared up at him not even trying to hide them now. "You're not leaving me like this, Spike. I won't let you."

"Don't see as we got much say so in't anymore, Luv." Spike sighed as she pulled on his arm to get him out of the car. Taking a look around as she pulled him onto the sidewalk he noticed they were in front of her house and he relaxed a bit. The porch light flicked on as they eased up the steps, her arms catching him as he stumbled. He should have felt embarrassed by the lack of his own strength but it took too much of his effort to just put one foot in front of the other.

"Where have you been?" Dawn's voice demanded as she jerked open the front door. "Xander came by…." Her voice died on her lips as Buffy pushed through the door pulling Spike along with her. "Oh my God, Spike what happened to you?"

"It's the chip." Buffy answered not sure if Spike even knew where he was as she laid him down on the sofa. "It's going all haywire on him and we gotta figure out how to stop it before…well…"

"Oh, Spike." Dawn sighed as she kneeled by the sofa and touched his hand. This wasn't how Spike should look. He was her strong and invincible big brother, or at least that's how she had come to see him over the time they had known each other. Especially when Buffy had a temporary case of being dead. Spike had been her only friend, her protector and the one person she could depend on to be strong when she needed to break down. It had never occurred to her that one day the rolls may be shifted. Even when she wanted to be mad at him for what happened before he went and got his sould restored she wouldn't have wished this on him.

"Oi, stop that cryin' Niblet." Spike sighed cursing the lack of anger in his voice. It was flat but she got the message. "I'll be fine. Jus' need to sleep it off you know. Be like new in no bloody time."

"Stay with him while I call Giles." Buffy said as Dawn nodded up at her.

"Buffy, no…" Spike's voice was as panicky as it could be despite the lack of energy and the pain. He could barely hold his eyes open but he caught her determined look as she looked down at him.

"I trust you, Spike." Buffy said as she turned away from him. She didn't want him to see anymore of her tears. She didn't miss his grumbled question of why but chose to not answer. Spike shook his head even though it caused him pain. Her confidence in him was unsettling at times and completely unwarranted especially after what had happened with the First. Risking her life hanging around a half crazed and half-starved vampire in severe pain was one thing; she was the Slayer after all. But now she was putting Dawn's life in his unsteady hands.

Buffy sat the kitchen table with her face in her hands. It was late and she was exhausted but she had tried every number she could find scribbled down for Giles and even Anya but neither answered. Willow offered a spell but Buffy had refused and Xander had done everything except storm to her house and demand she throw Spike out on his ear and leave him to his fate…wait, maybe he had mentioned something like that. "Any luck?" Buffy looked up from her mug of tea to see Dawn sliding into the chair beside her. She looked as exhausted as Buffy felt.

"Nothing," Buffy sighed as she sipped from her mug. "How's Spike holding up in there?"

"Sleeping…finally." Dawn's voice caught as she hid behind the curtain of her hair. "He's so weak, Buffy. I can't stand seeing him like that. It isn't supposed to be this way. Isn't there something we can do to stop the pain?"

"We'll figure this out, Dawn." Buffy sounded more confident than she felt. There wasn't anything she could think of that would stop Spike's suffering. They didn't know anything about the chip embedded in his skull.

"He didn't even tell me to 'sod off' when I was cleaning the blood off his face." Dawn sighed as she brushed the tears from her eyes. "He just laid there."

"I doubt he's even been able to feed properly in days because of the chip." Buffy rubbed her tired eyes as she sighed. "I don't even see how he has the strength to be snarky and shirtty."

"I used to bake him cookies when…" Dawn stopped suddenly her eyes drifting up to Buffy's questioning eyes. "When you were gone for a while." Buffy bit her lip at Dawn's mention of her most recent death. It wasn't something either of them liked to talk about. "He loved dipping them in warm blood. I thought it was pretty disgusting at first but then it was like…you know…Spike and then it was kinda cool to watch him do it. Maybe that would help him! I could bake some cookies for him."

"Dawn," Buffy sighed as she took in her sister's excited look and shook her head. "I just don't think…"

"Chocolate chip with those little sprinkles mixed in." Spike smiled as he leaned in the doorway, his voice tired but at least he was on his feet under his own power for now.

Both girls jumped to their feet and Buffy looked him over with a questioning glare as she noticed how hard he was leaning on the doorway. He was still trying to make them feel better by pretending he wasn't hurting anymore. "You should be resting." Buffy said as she watched him roll his eyes, wincing at the effort it took not to sway on his feet.

"Ain't the first time that bloody chip's turned me arse over elbows this week." Spike growled refusing to admit how much worse the pain had gotten or how much more frequent the jolts of pain were coming now.

"Still," Buffy sighed as she met his eyes. "You should lie down and take it easy at least for tonight."

"And do what?" Spike growled as he rubbed the back of his neck which had become stiff and sore from the jerking of his head during the shocking sessions. "Lie around and wait for the soddin' thing to explode out the back of my skull." He instantly regretted his words as Dawn gasped and tried to run past him. "Hold up, Niblet." Spike sighed as he grabbed her arm. As weak as he was she could have pulled away but she let him pull her into the circle of his arms. It was the way he had always held her when she needed a shoulder to cry on, except this time it was him she was crying over. "Sorry, right. Shouldn't have said that. Jus' ain't myself tonight, Lil' Bit. I'll get better…you'll see."

"You can't leave us, Spike." Dawn cried into his chest as he held her as tight as he could.

"Ain't goin' nowhere, Niblet." Spike said as he felt her pull away. "'Sides, take more than a bloody chip to take out this Big Bad, right. Believe me?" He watched her dry her tears as she nodded. "Good. Now about those cookies…"  
Buffy sat on the sofa with Spike's head in her lap as she cleaned the last of the blood from his mouth with the corner of a once white towel. "Feeling any better?" She asked quietly as his eyes fluttered open. It took a few minutes for his eyes to adjust to the soft light around them, flinching as he tried to move but her hand stopped him. "Relax."

"Been no stranger to pain, Luv." Spike sighed as he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. The nausea in his stomach a distant reminder of why he had stopped himself from taking any more than a couple sips of blood at a time. He felt himself gag at the stale taste of blood, whiskey and chocolate chips in his mouth. "This chip…gonna be the death of me yet."

"I wish I knew what to do to help you, Spike." He could hear the desperation in her voice as she stared down at him. "I can't reach Giles and I can't trust Willow not to muck up a spell and kill you for good."

"Should have dusted me when you found me, Pet." Spike sighed as she rubbed his temples with shaky fingers. He would have to tell her one day how good that felt. If he lived that long anyway. "Rather have you do me in than to have this bleedin' chip scramble my brain until my head explodes. If it weren't for those namby pamby soldier boys…"

"Riley." Buffy whispered as her fingers stilled on his temples.

"I'm jus' gonna lay here and pretend you didn't just say that ponce's name while touching me." Spike mumbled as his eyes fell closed again. It was getting harder and harder to stay conscious after the chip worked him over.

"Come on." Buffy grumbled as she paced around the backyard with the telephone to her ear. "Pick up already." The only number she had for her ex was a cell phone number that she wasn't sure would even work after this length of time but she needed answers and wasn't above groveling to get them.

"You have reached Special Opportunities Photography Studios." An animated voice drifted over the line. "If you would like to schedule an appointment with one of our photographers leave your name and number after the beep and someone will get in touch with you as soon as possible."

"Riley," Buffy hated the fear in her voice. "It's Buffy. I hope you get this quick. I need your help. It's Spike's chip. I think…I know…It's killing him and I need to know how to stop it. I mean I know that technically he's already…I know that alright, but just humor me on this one would you. I can't lose him like that, Riley. You may not understand and I am not asking you to. I'm just asking you to help me. It isn't right, him suffering like this." Buffy hung up felling drained and wondered back inside locking the door behind her.

Setting the phone in the cradle she froze and the sound of Dawn crying in the living room, Spike's name falling from her lips between sobs. Buffy braced herself as best she could for the worst as she turned the corner. Spike was on his knees in the middle of the floor, blood splattered on the floor and the table. Dawn had wrapped an arm around his chest, the other cradled his head against her shoulder as she cried against his hair. "He was fine." She cried as Buffy kneeled beside her, gently helping her to lower an unconscious Spike to the floor between them. "He started jerking…I tried to hold him but I couldn't…he tried to stand up and…I tried, Buffy. I couldn't catch him before he hit the table."

"It's ok, Dawnie." Buffy said as she pulled her sister into a tight hug holding her as she cried and mumbled against her shoulder. "We'll fix it. I promise. I don't know how but we will."

Spike's eyes snapped open and he braced himself for the burning pain in his head to start but he was granted a pass this time. He sighed as he closed his eyes again trying to fight the nausea and dizziness that raged through him. The last zap must have been a doozy to leave him this weak and drained. He tried to move his hand to rub his eyes but they were pinned down. Tearing his eyes from the ceiling, he stared down in wonder at the two girls curled up and sleeping peacefully on his shoulders his arms pinned under their bodies. A wave of regret washed over him as Buffy mumbled his name in her sleep her face crumpling up as if she were going to cry again. Dawn's hand was fisted in his shirt, her fingers jerking from time to time as she dreamed. He shivered at the thought of Dawn seeing him at his worst, but in a way he was thankful she had been there to try to catch him. Anger flashed through him as he realized for the first time that he actually had something worth living and fighting for and the bloody chip was well on its way to taking all of that away from him. It hurt him far more than getting his soul back had.

Buffy woke with a start his name a strangled gasp falling from her lips. The gentle touch of a hand rubbing against her back comforted her as she turned her eyes up to see Spike smirking at her. It wasn't as good as his normal smirk but she would take any sign of improvement. "Dreaming of me, Pet?" Spike whispered as Buffy buried her face in his neck and sighed. He was still weak but at least for the moment he sounded more like himself. "Didn't hurt the Bit last night did I?"

"No." Buffy whispered as she looked up at him. If someone had told her when they first met that one day she would be cuddled up to Spike in her basement crying at the thought of him not been in her life anymore she would have probably staked them once she stopped laughing, but here she was. "She only left your side long enough to go patrolling with Xander last night. You would have been proud. She slugged him right in the nose when he suggested she was too attached to you. Even threatened to stake him if he got too close to you."

"My sympathies to the bleedin' prat." Spike laughed as he let his eyes fall on the young girl still sleeping at his side. He wasn't sure when it happened but he had grown attached to her as well. At first it was just because of a promise he had made to Buffy as she prepared to give her life for the safety of the world, but as he carried out that promise day after day he noticed Dawn meant more to him than just an obligation he had got himself wrapped up with. She was his friend and in so many ways he saw her as a little sister that he was responsible for. "Wait…patrolling? When did she start patrolling?"

Buffy sat in the floor with her back against the basement door, head in her hands as the tears soaked her face. His screams had finally stopped but she couldn't put herself together enough to go to him. Dawn had left with Willow and Xander for another patrol and thankfully wasn't in hearing distance of the house as Spike screamed and thrashed about. He hadn't slept at all during the day and even when the pain would knock him out he thrashed about as the chip fired. If this kept up he would be dust by sunrise and she wasn't sure she could stand to watch it happen. She had finally coaxed him into a mug of blood mostly because he was too weak to argue anymore. His eyes had flared as the first taste hit his tongue but he couldn't make himself pull away until the last drop was drained. "Your blood." Spike had growled as his face crumpled. "Why did you give me your blood."

"Nothing else is working, Spike." She stared into his eyes willing him to understand. "You can't even keep down the pig blood anymore and at the rate you're bleeding….I thought it would help ok. Slayer blood and all. Don't make a big deal out of it or anything. Plus, we both know you like it. You've told me as much over the years and you needed to eat something."

With slow movements and a flinch of pain Spike had leaned toward her, his lips ghosting over hers, just barely touching, giving her every chance to pull away. He smiled as he felt her hand at the back of his head gently pulling him closer. He memorized the feel of her lips on his and the way her fingers danced along his skin. "If it has to end…" Spike gasped as he pulled away searching her face. "I want it to end like this." She had ran. Unable to deal with the truth she found in his words or the look in his eyes as he stared at her. The reality of what little time they may have left together was something she just wasn't ready to deal with.

Finally, she stood and jerked open the basement door to find him slumped against the wall shaking and covered in blood. "Didn't work, Luv." He rolled his eyes up to her as she stood shaking in the doorway. "Sorry."

"Just hang in there, ok." She mumbled as she looped an arm around his waist and pulled him to his feet feeling his knees buckle under him as she tried to get him to move.

"'Fraid this is it, Pet." Spike breathed as she pulled him into the kitchen. "End of the bloody road it seems." Buffy opened her mouth but no words came out. She had practiced this speech many times in the last twenty four hours but now that she was faced with a weak and helpless Spike leaning against her she couldn't find any words to give him hope. "Oh God..no…" Spike tried as best he could to push away from her as the pain took him again spinning the room around him and stealing what strength he had left. "No more…I can't…Buffy…" He sunk to his knees dragging her with him as blood poured from his mouth and nose his hands wrapped around his head until one last scream tore its way from his raw and abused throat and then his eyes rolled back and he fell to the kitchen floor.

"Spike!" Buffy screamed as she wrapped her arms around his limp form and dragged his head into her lap. "No…come on, Spike fight it." The bursting open of her back door covered her screams of his name as suddenly the room was full of people.

Half an hour later the Initiative medical team had transformed her basement into some sort of supernatural lab experiment. The General had insisted but she refused to leave Spike's side. She needed their help to save his life but that didn't mean she trusted them alone with him for long periods of time. She owed it to Spike to stand by him now. How many times had he done the same for her over the last few months? Hell, he practically raised Dawn for an entire summer while she was dead and buried in the cemetery. It was thoughts like that that brought new tears to her eyes. "Ms. Summers," she looked up from Spike's still form to face the General and his disapproving glare. "Per our orders all decisions pertaining to Hostile..."

"He has a name you know." Buffy snapped as she glared up at him. A brief moment of silence exchanged between them and she found herself surprised at her outburst.

"Of course." He grumbled as she went back to staring at Spike. "All decisions pertaining to…Spike…are to be made by you. You will have the final say in what we do here but be assured that we are here to help you in dealing with him. Direct orders from Agent Finn."

"Good." Buffy sighed as she tightened her fingers around Spike's hand. "What are our options?"

"The chip has been damaged." The General rubbed his eyes as he spoke and Buffy knew it was going against every bit of his training to be this close to a vampire and not kill it or punish it. "If left in place as it is he will be dust in a matter of hours."

"Not an option!" Buffy growled as she glared up at him.

"Didn't rightly think it would be." He sighed. "We can repair it if possible or replace it all together with a new one."

"Would that stop his pain?" Buffy asked as she held back her tears a little better now knowing there were at least some options that would help him.

"No guarantee." He said as he watched her nod. "The only other option available is to remove the chip. However, I would strongly…"  
"Do it." Buffy spoke before she even realized the words were her own. Her eyes widened as what she had just agreed to slammed into her. Without the chip Spike would be free to do as he pleased but somewhere inside she knew that with the soul he wouldn't go back to doing those terrible things. "My decision, General….Remember."

Without another word he turned on his heel and stormed off barking orders at the top of his lungs to the others wandering about the basement. "Buffy…" She turned back to Spike who was now staring up at her with a mix of fear and confusion on his face. His eyes were dull and bloodshot and he tried to jerk away from the nurse who lowered a needle toward his arm. "Wha…Whas goin' on?"

"Spike," Buffy whispered as she grabbed his face pulling his eyes back to her. "Look at me, Spike. You're going to be fine ok. They're going to help you but you have to let them." Spike jerked as the dark liquid in the needle was pushed into his veins, his eyes falling shut but he forced them back open not wanting to go just yet. "Go to sleep. Trust me, Spike."

"Only person in the whole bloody world, Pet." He mumbled as his eyes finally closed and his grip on her hand weakened.

Buffy leaned down and touched her lips to his remembering how that had given him some peace before. "It isn't the end, Spike." She whispered.

Buffy sat on the edge of her bed watching Spike sleep with a million thoughts running around in her head. The Initiative helped her get him upstairs and settled into her bed but they left town soon thereafter without a glance in the rearview mirror. He had slept the entire night and day away with Buffy and Dawn taking turns watching over him. She was almost asleep when she felt his hand grip hers and a groan escaped from his lips as his eyes fluttered open. His eyes found her and he sighed as she smiled at him. "Feeling better?" She asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes with his free hand.

"Bloody chip knocked me for a good one this time." He groaned as he tried to sit up in the bed ignoring her protests. "Heard the soldier boys talking in one of those seconds of clarity I had. Guess I ain't got that much time left."

"The chip isn't a problem anymore." Buffy smiled as she fished out a small silicone disc from her pocket and laid it in his palm closing his fingers over it.

"So they replaced it." Spike closed his eyes and Buffy wasn't sure if he was grateful for the relief or terrified of it happening again. It was the same thought process she had went through when given the choice.

"Not exactly." Buffy said as she moved closer to him. "It's gone, Spike. I told them to take the chip out. You don't need it anymore. You have your soul to answer to now. You don't need that thing shoved up your brain." He watched her with a storm cloud of emotions in his eyes but amazement and fear won out as he turned the disc over in his hand.

"You trusted me enough to do this." Spike said in amazement as he watched her nod. "Even after everything I've done. After everything…I done to you."

"You're not that guy anymore, Spike." Buffy smiled as she took his hand in hers again. "You fight by my side, you protect me and Dawn and there is a goodness about you that you didn't have before. I see it when you don't think anyone is watching and I hear it when you speak to Dawn."

"From the look of things I cut it close." Spike changed the subject suddenly uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Another hour and you would have been dust in a box on the fireplace." Buffy laughed as she watched him smile.

"Always liked that fireplace." Spike joked back as he pulled her against him. "Thanks, luv. You could have let them have me, you know. Sure they would have loved to have done me in."

"No chance." She smiled. "You belong to me Spike." She didn't miss the sharp intake of breath as he watched her. "The only person that's allowed to do in this Big Bad is me."

"Whatever you say…Slayer." Spike smirked as he moved closer to her.

"Spike!" Dawn's voice echoed through the room as she jumped on the bed wrapping her arms around him with a smile. "Don't you ever scare me like that again!"  
"Got my word on it, Niblet." Spike laughed as she pulled away from him. "So long as you stop waiving around sharp pointy pieces of wood that close to my chest. Just avoided the other side and I don't care to see the gates again if you get my drift."

"It's yours anyway." Dawn shrugged as she slipped the stake into the loop of her belt. "Grabbed it out of your duster that first night I went patrolling. Dusted my first vampire with it to. Giles said I was learning quick."

"Then by all means take the bloody thing as your own." Spike smiled. "Shame you have to depend on the Watcher to teach you how to use it."

"Wish you would do it." Dawn said before she thought, her hand flying to her mouth as he stared at her with wide eyes. "I mean…It's just that…well…"

"Niblet," Spike sighed as he reached for her hand and pulled her closer to him. "We'll talk about this later, right?" Spike couldn't believe what he was allowing himself to say. "Once I'm bloody well back to myself and not lying here like some kind of ponce. Also…you gotta ok that with your Sis. Things are different now with me. I'm not sure I…"

"It's fine by me." Buffy interrupted with a smile as she watched two sets of shock eyes turn to her at the same time. It was unnerving to say the least but she didn't falter in her resolve. "Honestly. If Dawnie wants you to show her how to fight off the vampires I think that's a responsible choice to make. After all…you taught me a thing or two about the dance."

"You mean it!" Dawn laughed as she threw herself at Buffy and hugged her tightly before turning back to a confused and shocked Spike and wrapping him in a crushing hug before leaping off the bed. "Bloody awesome!"

"The Bit is using my words now." Spike mumbled as he turned questioning eyes to Buffy who was working hard at not letting her grin get the better of her.

"Oh that." Buffy laughed as she shook her head. "Does it to annoy Giles and Xander. Drives them absolutely daft. Caught her calling Xander a 'bleedin' prat' last night when he was talking about you."

Spike rolled his eyes as he laughed. "That's my girl." It felt good to laugh and he heard Buffy giggle. "Give old stuff shirt something to bloody well harp on me for. Corrupting the youth and all. Buffy…are you sure about the whole fighting thing? Without the chip…"

"You won't hurt her if that's what's bothering you." Buffy sighed as she laid down beside him in the bed resting her head on his shoulder. "You haven't needed that chip since you got your soul back you know. Maybe even for a time before that. It was a security net for you as much as it was for me but you don't need it to be a good man. You already are. I see it in you, Spike. The way you are with her amazes me sometimes. Like you two share some understanding that I could never hope to be a part of." Buffy waited for his response but it never came and she chanced a look up at his face. His eyes were closed and he had fallen into that predictable breathing pattern he always had as he slept. She wondered for a moment if he only did that when he was around her or if it was something he just couldn't shake.


End file.
